CRM leaders have been wonderfully affirming and offer opportunities
for me to explore and grow in what God's calling me to do. I don't do
the typical CRM equipping Christian leaders thing. But being a theatre
artist is way out of the box for just about any Christian Institution.
Still, I feel very much a part of CRM and welcome to explore how to
integrate anything that they are doing within my arena of ministry.
It's there for the taking/networking if I want it. This, I think
reflects Sam Metcalf's values and personality. I've always respected
him and am blessed to know him.
You see, for all of my life I've felt like an outsider. Born into a
family of athletes who loved me but didn't understand me, I became a
pastor's wife soon after college (one of the most difficult "roles"
I've ever taken on). Along the way I've asked for direction and
guidance from a lot of people, but mostly got lame "stock" answers.
I've been following the Holy Spirit's leading in my heart - which has
remained steadfastly driven and passionate about performing arts and
serving Jesus Christ as he sets up his rule and reign among us. God's
been faithful in leading! Since the late 80's I've been connected with
Christians in Theatre Arts (CITA), a North American Networking
organization. It has connected me with a few older women who are
Christians in theatre. I am also a life-long member of a new
networking organization called the International Council of
Ethnodoxicologists. As a teenager, or college student, I couldn't have
imagined myself doing what I'm doing now, but it's just perfect for
me! Among other projects, just last week I began working with the
Theological Centre for Asia on developing their Institute for Creative
Arts. It will be a year certificate program for those who want to use
the creative arts in ministry. Their long term goal would be a degree
program. Wow.
Recently I mentioned to another CRM woman here that I feel that in
many ways I'm wired more like a man than a woman. Mostly in regards to
my sense of worth and what I find satisfying. She completely agreed.
She said that she her husband were remarking about it saying, "Why is
it if a Christian man is driven in his career/calling he is
considerred 'hardworking' and if a woman feels called by God to
something outside of nurturing her family, she's considered a bit
'selfish.' It's really not very fair."
I think all these things have, over the years, built a sort of
renegade individualism and loneliness in me. It's been hard to find
other women who have similar callings. CRM has been a sweet place to
know that my uniqueness is from the Lord and that I don't need to
conform to anyone's agenda for me but Christ's. It's also been a place
where I am unlearning some of my individualism and finding more and
more like-minded women for mutual support and encouragement. As you
can imagine this has been both affirming and liberating!
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