more whining

Part of my current dissatisfaction is a realization that I have become musically (and artistically) malnourished after (1.) a recent conservatory cello recital (I went knowing it was sold out, but got managed to get tickets at the door front row centre FREE), and (2.) a night at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert last week (Another FREE gift from the Lord. Row D, Center!) Now HERE is someone who has had his marching orders and is using his art to share the truth and drawing people into deeper walks of faith. Oh, I liked listening to him so much more LIVE than i do his albums. Raw. Real. Honest. Not overproduced. And such a solid testimony. His lyrics are so easy to identify with, and God through his music tells my heart that the Christian life can really be a celebration. Now. I don't have to wait till heaven to have fun. Listen to me. I'm sounding like a FAN! I've shed my cynic skin after a night at New Creation Church with Steven Curtis Chapman and his band. I want to have this kind of music in my life. I want to be part of making good music. Look at me. Stamping my feet. I want. I want....what a baby. I may have to settle for just cranking up the stereo and bothering my family and neighbors a little more, but I'm going to add more music in my life. Starting last week.Part of this angst is just the nature of being an artist. Isn't it true? I think about my cousin in Sydney. Accomplished concert violinist, and conductor gone on to be the Principal of the Wesley Institute for Ministry and Performing Arts. He knows his calling was to build up that school there. He has bull dog tenacity. Focus. He's giving his heart and creative-genius-soul for the glory of God. I think about all that has come from it ...and will come the graduates, the former students who've been so impacted forever by being there. By his obedience to God and his favour on him, this school has happened. It's a great legacy! And then I think as I thank God for my cousin [or Steven Curtis Chapman last week] ..."I bet David [or SCC] has his days of wondering if he's doing the right thing. Wondering if he's supposed to be doing something else."  Lord have mercy on us! I can take myself and my fuzzy ideas of what it means to do something "significant" with my life MUCH TOO SERIOUSLY!