I'm invited to help Theological Centre for Asia to help put together the drama part of a year cert program in Creative Arts Ministry. Paul Seow has been working on it too. We both wrestle with the feeling that our education has been inadequate preparation for the things we'd like to do. Lecture in a Seminary? Without a Master's Degree? For months I've been writing out an extensive list of what kind of work, writing, and reading I've been doing in theatre, teaching and ministry since arriving in Singapore in Dec 2000. I'm hoping that if asked for it, this long list of accomplishments may suffice or make up for the fact that I've not worked on an advanced degree in theatre.
Another project: Though I took it on with excitement, when it comes down to it, I'm not that excited about writing a 5,000 word article for the National Council of Churches in Singapore. The chapter is to be called: "A Christian Response to Theatre." I'm interested in READING IT, and responding to what someone else might say, but I'm not motivated to write it, so I ask Dale Savidge of CITA to help - with the bulk of it - since it's more up his alley and he has things to say about it that would be worth reading. He'll end up writing the whole thing and I'll just add touches to make sure it fits Singapore.
While stressing over getting this written while on the road, we're looking into what the future might hold for us if we return to Southern California for a year starting summer '07 (our 10th Anniversary for being overseas is Sept. '07). One big option for that year is to go to school. More equipping.
So, we sit in the admissions office of Fuller Seminary in Pasadena. We see how easily what is offered at the school fits what Jim wants to do and learn for the year we'd be here. A ThM in Intercultural Studies. A perfect fit for him. It adds to what he's done with MDiv, lets him dig deeper in the areas he's using on a practical level. It will be a great year with another degree under his belt. However, there is no easy answer for me in that Admissions Office. The 2 year MA in Theology, Worship and the Arts would mean a lot more Bible Survey and Theology classes (which I've taken at an undergrad level). The Intercultural Studies is more flexible, but would also mean a number of classes that I've little interest in and don't apply to things I like to do. I could search for an MFA program in another LA area school which is the professional degree for artists, and I'm probably short some of the courses I need for admission because of all the Bible and Theology courses I took for my Biola degree in Communication. It is improbable that an MFA course would allow me to integrate faith with theatre in my thesis. An MFA would be 3 years full time. Starting at 45 years old, when am I going to finish THAT?
While still in Pasadena, we visit Charlie, a CRM friend who is struggling on a Fuller intro class he just started. As a right brained artist he's trying to learn to write research papers and do master's level work. He's just started the course and wondering if he's made a mistake to try. "What's the point of all of this?" he's thinking. I think the same way.
We've just come from a weekend on the Monterey Peninsula, and in our Travelodge hotel room, I am reading CANNERY ROW by John Steinbeck (never ever read a book about a place while I'm visiting there! What fun!) There's a chapter toward the end of CANNERY ROW about a poor woman who's purpose in life was to encourage her husband and throw parties whenever she can find an excuse for one. She adds spice to the lives of people around even when they had no money. She didn't have a Master's Degree...or a Bachelor's Degree and she was poor, and she was HAPPY. Oh yes, she's also FICTION! But reading about her hit on something for me. Sometimes this woman's parties were just tea parties for the stray cats around her flat. It makes me cry to read about her. Why does it feel so important to me to have a Master's Degree? It's not just that I live in Asia, where even more than in the West, degrees behind your name give you credibility. It's something else. I don't think it's a matter of me feeling, "If I only had a Master's Degree, then I'd be happy." No I know that my happiness doesn't come from things on the outside. I think it has to do with my desire for influence. I took the Gallup Organization's STRENGTHS FINDER and one of my top 5 strengths was "SIGNIFICANCE." I suppose I long to have an impact in people's lives beyond the small circle I have in my week to week connections. I suppose that this desire to study for another degree is a desire to open more doors to a broader scope of influence. I don't dream of being some "world famous" person. That's not it.
I am a great student. I love studying things and writing about what I'm learning. But what for? So much money for classes, and I already have in my head and heart more information than I have the opportunity to pass on. I like working with people who are beginners. Some of those beginners struggle with the concepts I try to teach from my current pool of knowledge and level of education. Why would I fill my head with more difficult concepts and ideas when I'd have no opportunity or audience to pass it on to? Hmm. I read what I just wrote and realize that I need to be teaching more. It's just dawned on me that I like learning not just for my own personal enrichment, but for the joy of passing it on! That's insightful for me. Hmm. I'll have to think about this some more as I leave it at the "Throne of Grace" for now.
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